Disappointment: Philadelphia Olympic Tri 2009

Been pretty low since Sunday.  After IMWI, Philadelphia was the next race on my list that I wanted to do really well at.  Unfortunately, I came up short.

When is an excuse ever valid?  When is it okay to rationalize things?  “Oh, well, this year, I tried a different traing techni … blah blah blah … I’m okay with how it turned out, I guess.”  Or, “I didn’t give myself enough rest this week.  I felt tired, and that’s why I didn’t do as well.”  Further still, “Ugh!  My stomach felt awful.”  They’re really not acceptable.  It’s bullshit.  I’m tired of my own bullshit.  I posted a YouTube video weeks back and titled the post, “Got Excuses?”  … I think that was the title.  I mean, they don’t list results with explanations, like:  “35/190 Joe Blow 30:31 2:40 1:37:21 1:50 57:12 3:09:34 — but Joe Blow had a really tough week of training this week, so he had tired legs.”

Regardless of how I felt on Sunday, I didn’t perform.  I didn’t achieve what I wanted, and that’s too bad.  I prepared.  I made mistakes.  I failed to execute.  End of story.  I have to deal with it for at least a year now.  It’s more “getting what I deserve,” and I’d rather not delve into why/how/when.  That’s just not acceptable any more.

The only thing that makes this tougher is the fact that this attitude is only understood by a small population.  And, in my close proximity, that population is 1 — me.  This means that my friends and family who come out to support me don’t understand.  They don’t have a clue.  They don’t get it.  They don’t have the drive or determination.  They don’t have the desire.

So, when I cross the line and am immediately disappointed, I have had to learn to put on the “accepting” face, because otherwise, I have felt in the past that they have been made to feel unappreciated.  There were races previously where I was a bit ignorant and completely upset, and I let that show.  Yet, to them, they think that no matter what, it’s always a great effort.  When they would congratulate me and I snapped back that “it was shit!”, then the disturbed and sorry looks on their faces stayed with me.  I’m not sure the later apologies and claims that I was thankful for their support really rang true or as authentic.  BUT, I am thankful to have my sisters want to come out and enjoy the race.  I am thankful that B&E like to make it tradition every June to drive up from West Chester to cheer me on.  I don’t want anyone to believe that I’m unappreciative, and that’s why I will not let my true colors shine after performances like this one.

With all of the rainfall we have had in the previous days and weeks prior to the race, we were probably lucky to swim to begin with.  The current was pretty swift.  The swim times were lower all across the board.  I know my time isn’t reflective of what I would normally swim, and so I can’t tell how much improvement I made from last year.  Disappointed with the bike leg.  No flats.  Was targeting 1hr or less.  I biked the same time as last year to within seconds.  I came off the bike into T2, and I was within striking distance of where I wanted to be and my goal.  BUT … instead of reeling people in, I went the opposite way.  The run was an epic fail.  I think it was my worst 10K effort off the bike in any race I’ve done so far.  I was passed several times within the last 3 miles, and it was demoralizing.  I tried to go with one guy, but I didn’t respond.  It’s so frustrating, because I know and have proven that I can come off the bike and run a sub 40 10K.

I ended up with the same position as last year in my age group.  I think my overall position jumped 4 spots.  My race time dropped by 4mins, but that’s most likely just due to the current in the river.  So, basically, on the result of things, despite all the training and effort I have been putting in for the past 9 months, I didn’t improve any.  Fail, fail, and fail.  End of story.

After the race, Brad and I went to Brandywine and rode mtb for about 2.5hrs.  I was pretty tired after that session, which was a good one.  Yet, I need to figure out how to adjust my brakes.  I don’t have the kind of stopping power that I think I should have with hydraulic disc brakes.   My mtb skills are certainly improving though.  The much fewer bruises, cuts and scrapes on my legs prove that.

Shit, shower, shave, clean clothes … and I felt like a million bucks!  Beer run, and then off to the Red Sombrero for my usual burrito and quesadilla.  Got a pork burrito.  Oh brother!  Could be a new fave there.  This place is silly-good.  The stuff is definitely fresh and prepared well.  Their salsas are the best I have had anywhere — even better than the taquerias in Cali.  Unfortunately, the Red Sombrero is a luxury that can only be had when I’m down in West Chester.  If, someday, you find yourself on Rt. 202 in PA east of West Chester, then find the Giant Supermarket shopping plaza, and you’ll find the Red Sombrero.  And, it’s BYOB.  Awesomeness defined.

Back to the apt.  Chill.  Watched a little Point Break action.  Drive home.  Wawa stop.  Red Bull purchase to stay awake and avoid driving off the bridge in the rain.  Arrive.   Mail.  Crash.

~ by jerseyquaker on June 30, 2009.

One Response to “Disappointment: Philadelphia Olympic Tri 2009”

  1. dude, i remember sitting at applebee’s in clifton park talking about goals. you had loads, short-term, long-term, impossible, reachable, and i had none. the best i could come up with after MUCH STRUGGLING was to buy a new truck cash.

    i am inspired by your dedication. i know myself that i DON’T have the drive, the desire. i can’t run two days in a row because i’m a pussy, and i’m lazy. if i ever make it to race, you can be straight with me, i’ll probably be drunk anyways.

    and just for you… you did shitty, buck up slacker! i’m here for ya anytime, hah.

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